


chasing dreams

by popnographic



Series: Rarepair drabbles [26]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Reality, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 14:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7319263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popnographic/pseuds/popnographic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke wakes up to find out that no one knows who he is, not even his best friend. The only one who <i>does</i> know him is Kisumi, and the two have quite a surprise waiting for them that explains their peculiar situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	chasing dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this several months back, and found myself over the past few days going back to it more and more. So I've finally decided to publish it, and I have to put this out there before I get people yelling at me in the comments. **Read the warnings**. I'm completely serious. Read 'em over and over so you know what they say and mean.

_He picks up the mail as usual on Saturday morning, and it's nothing special. Bills, the local newspaper mostly filled with coupons and advertisements, a little slip from the neighbourhood letting him know there's a flea market going on tomorrow. One he definitely won't be going to, since he doesn't need anyone else's rubbish around the house._

_It's the usual stuff that comes through the mail a few times a week._ _Or so he thinks, before he sees a handwritten letter addressed to him._

_And it's from Haruka._

 

* * *

 

Had he not gotten paid by his neighbours, there’s no way in hell Sousuke would find himself atop their roof right now about to hang Christmas lights. Who even _celebrates_ Christmas around here? He sure doesn’t, and he doesn’t know anyone _besides_ the Takagi family who does. But, seeing as he’s getting paid for doing something that’s more tedious than physically exhausting, he doesn’t bother with the details.

Kisumi’s been texting him all day, but at some point, Sousuke stopped reading the messages and just let his phone vibrate all it wants to. Sousuke’s never really liked text-messaging to begin with, and Kisumi _knows_ that. If he really wants to talk, he’ll—

“I wouldn’t really see the roof of someone else’s house as the place to hide, but whatever works, I guess.”

—come over. Sousuke closes his eyes for a second and exhales slowly through his nose before turning around from the cardboard box. “Kisumi. What a surprise.”

Kisumi glares up at Sousuke from where he stands on the ground, and he frowns. He’s carrying a rather large box in his arms, which Sousuke assumes to be a Christmas gift, and it’s very… overly decorated with ribbons and other things Sousuke has no interest in. Very Kisumi-esque, of course.

“You don’t need to be sarcastic; I already know how much you don’t want me to be here.”

Sousuke sighs. “Look, if you’re here to start a fight, I don’t have time. Mrs. Takagi wanted these up by dinner, and I promised her I’d make it until then. So if you’ll excuse me.”

He returns his attention to the box and pulls out a set of Christmas lights, leaving a bunch of glittery decorations for him to intertwine with said lights once he’s stapled them to the roof. Just seeing it all makes him cringe in disgust, once again reminded of the reason as to why he absolutely hates Christmas, and he’s glad Christmas only comes once a year.

Sousuke hears the creak in the cheap stepladder not too far away from him, and he groans internally knowing Kisumi’s coming up to join him on the roof. Why is this guy not scared of heights like most _normal_ people? It takes him a second, and then he answers his own question. Kisumi isn’t normal, and probably never has been. Some might say that’s a good thing, but Sousuke isn’t so sure.

“You know, I’ve been nice,” Kisumi begins, picking up the box he’d carried earlier which he’d placed up on the roof before climbing up. Oh, he _can_ be smart. “I’ve been patient, and understanding. And I’ve kind of tried to, you know, hint at you that I wanted you to invite me over the Christmas dinner. Which is tonight, if you didn’t know.”

“I do know,” Sousuke replies. “And I didn’t invite you because—“

“—that’d be a big step? Because it’d be like you admitting that we’re dating?”

When did he become so _perceptive_?! “Well, yeah. I mean, we’re not really dating, anyway. And I thought you’d take it the wrong way.”

Sousuke’s hand naturally falls to his side, and his fingers touch the front pocket of his jeans where he feels the shape of the folded letter he’d picked up earlier that morning. He knows he shouldn’t dwell on the past and maybe he _should_ just let Kisumi in, but there’s something that just stops him right before he’s able to fully consider it.

Kisumi snorts, and he walks over to Sousuke, carrying his box. “Oh, so _now_ you’re considerate of my feelings? I should be flattered. I guess it really was dumb of me to think we could happen, because I was so dumb to even get you this _gift_. And no, it isn’t a bribe!”

Are people _supposed_ to be this complicated? Sousuke feels a headache coming on, and he swallows yet another groan in annoyance. The fact that Kisumi’s still hindering him from getting on with putting up the Christmas lights almost surprises him, since he’d normally tell himself he’d just blow it off. It irks him that he can’t do that now for whatever reason, but Kisumi seems to have that kind of effect on people.

“So I’m just gonna give you this and walk away as the rejected idiot I am,” Kisumi continues. He tries to shove his box into Sousuke’s arms, but Sousuke’s faster, and stops him halfway.

“You don’t need to give me something,” he protests half-heartedly. He could’ve been _done_ with this shit by now. “I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Bull,” Kisumi says with a roll of his eyes. “Just take it. Keep it as a reminder that you let go of something that could’ve been decent. Good, even.”

Kisumi continues trying to shove his gift into Sousuke’s chest, and while Sousuke tries to push it back, he obviously doesn’t succeed in making Kisumi surrender. Kisumi starts getting more imposing, and it makes it more difficult for Sousuke to withstand it. He takes a step back, and realises too late that there isn’t anything there for his foot to land on.

“Sousuke!”

 

* * *

 

He wakes up on the ground, and the first thing he sees is Christmas lights dangling from the roof just above him, as if they’re laughing at his failed attempt at putting them up. He looks to his side, and finds his fingers linked with Kisumi’s, and he flinches upon the realisation, pulling his hand to himself like he got burnt. Kisumi opens his eyes, and when he sees Sousuke, he sits up as if _he’d_ just gotten burnt, and then he’s on his feet.

“What just happened?”

“I don’t know,” Sousuke groans as he sits back up. He feels fine, which is weird knowing the two of them had just fallen off the roof. Not a single scratch. Did he _dream_ it? No, that can’t be it—he’s absolutely sure the two of them fell off the roof not that long ago, and that they must’ve been knocked unconscious from the fall. So why aren’t they hurt?

Puzzled and not-so-slightly alarmed, he fumbles at the pocket on his jeans, and is strangely relieved to find that the letter hasn’t fallen out. Sousuke gets on his feet, and Kisumi glares at him again, this time successfully handing over the box to Sousuke, miraculously undamaged much like themselves. “Here. It’s a grill. I don’t even care that I’m spoiling the surprise for you. I hope you grill your face off.”

He doesn’t even have time to ask Kisumi why he _isn’t_ concerned with how neither of them got hurt in the fall, because then he’s gone, and Sousuke’s left alone. He looks up at the string of lights hanging from the roof once again only to mouth a ‘fuck off’ at them and then heading towards the front of the house. He knows he’ll have to tell Mrs. Takagi they might be up a little later than promised and apologise, that’s probably what people call common courtesy.

When he does walk inside the kitchen, though, Mrs. Takagi stares at him and instantly raises the knife she’s holding over what looks like salmon on the cutting board.

“Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?”

Sousuke snorts in disbelief. “Is this supposed to be a joke? Mrs. Takagi, you asked me to put up the Christmas lights, remember? I just wanted to tell you they might be up a little later than—“

“I asked you to do _what_? I don’t even _know_ you,” she interrupts him. “Get out before I call the police, this is trespassing.”

Even more confused, Sousuke walks right back outside again with Kisumi’s box—apparently a grill—in his arms. This has to be a joke, there’s no other explanation. It just doesn’t make sense, because even though Mrs. Takagi’s a nice person, he’s never seen her angry. And he’s never heard her joke before, either, so none of this makes sense in his head.

He decides staying around their house probably isn’t the best idea right now, so he walks the ten-minute walk over to Rin’s house instead. That, as he probably should’ve expected, results in a terrified Gou on the verge of tears, and Rin _also_ threatening to call the police before Sousuke even had the chance to finish explaining himself. His own best friend threatened to call the police on him. Sousuke’s more insulted and hurt than confused at this point, and he makes it into central Iwatobi just before he collapses down on a bench.

“What the _fuck_ is going on,” he mumbles to himself, pressing the heels of his hands against his forehead, elbows resting on his knees. No one recognises him, and he’s had more people threaten him in the last hour than he might have in the past few months, which is saying something.

Having recovered ever so slightly, Sousuke sits back on the bench and just watches people go by. It feels like everything around him is moving in slow-motion, and he fully expects to hear them speak in a language he doesn’t understand, because it would fit very well with the situation he’s in right now.

His eyes sweep over the crowd of people walking by in front of him, and when he spots a whirl of _pink_ amongst it all, his heart skips a beat. Said pink whirl moves closer, and before he knows it, he’s back up on his feet, and Kisumi nearly jumps into his arms.

“I’m so glad I found you,” he breathes out in relief, and Sousuke’s actually glad they found each other, too.

 

* * *

 

“A what?”

“An alternate universe. Parallel, maybe. I don’t know, but don’t you think that kind of explains things?”

“Kisumi, we’re not in a science fiction film.”

Kisumi waves him off dismissively before taking a sip of his drink. They’d ended up in the bar Sousuke’s far too familiar with these days, having a drink as they’re trying to process what’s happening around them. Which Kisumi doesn’t seem as concerned with as Sousuke is, but he probably shouldn’t be surprised about that.

“Come on. I mean, what other reason do you have for Mrs. Takagi to wanna call the police on you, and even _Rin_ wanting to do so? Gou reacting to you like she’s seeing a goddamn alien, that’s not normal. Obviously. So, the only reasonable explanation is that we’ve somehow ended up in a parallel universe, and one where we don’t exist in the first place.”

“Together.”

“Well, yeah, sorry—you’re apparently stuck with me here, too,” Kisumi replies dryly. “I didn’t set this up, by the way, which you probably think I did.”

Normally, Sousuke probably _would_ think so, but this is just too ridiculous even for Kisumi’s standards. It can’t even be something like the Truman Show where everything is staged and everyone but him and Kisumi are in on it, and if that _can’t_ be the case, then Sousuke’s out of possible explanations for their situation.

“I don’t think you’re responsible for this.”

“Oh, well _that’s_ a relief.”

Sousuke sighs again. “Okay, if you’re just gonna try and guilt-trip me while we’re in this fucked up situation, then I might just as well leave, because it won’t really solve anything.”

Kisumi regards him for a few seconds, still miffed, but then he seems to give in. “What I wanted to say was that I think we were sent here for a reason.”

“To this… parallel universe,” Sousuke fills in with obvious suspicion in his voice. “And in the _real_ world, we’re probably in the hospital in a coma or something.”

“Yeah, I’d guess so, if people actually found us and _took_ us to a hospital in the first place,” Kisumi shrugs. “People usually have weird dreams and stuff when they’re comatose.”

“Uh-huh. Not even gonna ask how you know these things.”

As expected, Kisumi pretends Sousuke _hadn’t_ just talked, and continues. “See, I think we were sent here to _fix_ something. Because obviously things are wrong here, even you know that. I noticed a few things here and there on my way over here myself, and _you’ve_ obviously already had a fair share of weird things happen to you. So, I’m assuming we’re meant to fix something.”

“And that something is…?”

“Still working on that part.”

Sousuke takes a large swig from his beer, and leans against the bar counter. Thankfully the bartender isn’t giving him any trouble and just treats him like any other patron in the bar. That makes the first person to do so since they’d ended up here, and that in and of itself is saying something considering how out of place he feels otherwise.

“I didn’t know you were into sci-fi in the first place.”

“Had a phase in seventh grade. Not that you’d know about that since you pretended not to know me back then.”

“Can we _not_ do this when we’re apparently strangers to everyone we know when we shouldn’t be?”

“Fine. Okay, so my suggestion is that we split up. You go see Rin again, and I’ll start with the Takagi family. Seeing as I deal with people better than you do.”

Sousuke raises an unimpressed eyebrow at Kisumi as he gets up from his seat. “Okay. So where do we meet up?”

Kisumi shrugs. “It’s an alternate universe, we’ll bump into each other at some point. Good luck, you’ll… probably need that.”

And with that, Kisumi leaves Sousuke to his own devices. Right now, he doesn’t really have a better plan, so maybe trusting Kisumi for once is all he can do. And though he fears he might actually end up being chased by the police away from Rin’s house, he decides to take the risk and try to at least get Rin away from the house so the two can talk. Rin’s usually sensible unless he’s royally pissed, which he isn’t without reason, so Sousuke feels cautiously optimistic as he leaves the bar, and his half-finished beer, to head back to Rin’s.

 

* * *

 

It takes a lot of convincing and almost begging, but then Gou finally calls for Rin and leaves Sousuke alone to wait for Rin, but not before she stares at him with apparent suspicion. It’s weird to see Gou like this, since Sousuke’s used to her jumping into his arms for a hug whenever they meet. Now it’s like she’s got amnesia and doesn’t remember him, which seems to be the case for literally everyone around him.

“You again?” he hears as Rin comes down the stairs, and Sousuke automatically straightens his back, no longer leaning against the wall.

“Look, just hear me out,” he says. “I just wanna talk. And… I know you don’t know me and you think I’m a creep, but just listen. Okay? If you let me talk, I’ll leave you alone. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll be out of your hair. And house.”

Thankfully, Rin lets him in, and the two sit down in his living room to talk. Thankfully things look the same as Sousuke remembers it, but it doesn’t help to rid him of his uneasiness about everything. And while Rin doesn’t seem to quite believe him, he does let Sousuke talk, at least.

“So you want me to believe you’re from a different universe where you and I are best friends and you’re also good friends with my _sister_?”

“Not dating,” he quickly points out. “And yes. Also, you’re dating Tachibana, and you’re good friends with—“

“What did you just say?”

Sousuke blinks in confusion. “I said you’re also dating Tachibana, and you’re good friends with Nanase… Haruka.”

The expression on Rin’s face goes from unimpressed to outright offended and _pissed_ just like he’d been earlier when threatening to call the police, and Sousuke wonders if this is his cue to run. He doesn’t, though, because he’s determined to set things straight, and will do just about anything to do so.

“I’m not dating Makoto,” Rin says through his teeth. “I don’t know _how_ you know we even did, but this is _really_ freaking me out.”

“You _used_ to date him?”

Rin snorts, the harsh line of his jaw softening. “Yeah, in high school. But then graduation happened, and we had to go our separate ways. We don’t talk that often anymore.”

What Rin says makes Sousuke unintentionally recoil, and his chest tightens up. _It’s too weird for it to be a coincidence_.

His mind wants to once again tell Sousuke that this is a joke, but it’s gone too far for him to even _try_ to believe that at this point. It hurts to see Rin like this, and he feels bad for having brought up the entire thing despite not having been able to know beforehand whether or not this was safe to mention.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and wonders if that’s really what he’s supposed to say right now.

“So why are you here? Why are you talking to _me_ of all people? Am I one of those people you need to ‘fix’?”

“I don’t know, but I think so. Maybe I need to get you and Tachibana back together… well, if you want to be with him, that is. I need to fix things so that they’re the same way they are where I’m from. And… well, in my ‘universe’, you’re dating Tachibana.”

Rin laughs humourlessly. “Well, unless you’re willing to pay for my flight ticket, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Sousuke briefly wonders if spending his money here will affect his finances in the ‘real world’, but then shakes the thought off. “I’ll think of something, okay? Just… well, trust me. And be patient.”

“I don’t even know why I’m agreeing to this seeing as I don’t know you, but fine. I’m interested in seeing what kind of tricks you’ll be able to pull out of that metaphorical hat of yours.”

 

* * *

 

Somewhat triumphant of making even just a little progress, Sousuke leaves the Matsuoka household and heads towards town. If what Kisumi said is correct, he’ll magically walk into him if he just wanders around for a bit, and at this point—Sousuke doesn’t really have any other option seeing as Kisumi could be just about _anywhere_ in Iwatobi right now.

He looks at the clock inside of a store through its windows and realises he isn’t hungry though he _should_ be since it’s almost two in the afternoon. The whole alternate universe thing is really messing with him, and finding out he doesn’t experience hunger in this state is arguably making things worse.

While he’s sitting on the same bench he’d sat on earlier, he hears Kisumi calling for him not too far away, and just as expected, Kisumi _does_ eventually walk up to him. Sousuke raises his eyebrows in slight awe.

“It _did_ work,” he says as Kisumi sits down next to him.

“Well, of course it did. I told you so.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t expecting such a weird thing to actually work. I mean, how realistic is that?”

Kisumi sighs. “This isn’t reality, Sousuke. At least not ours. Anyway, so I quickly realised Mrs. Takagi isn’t the one we’re supposed to ‘fix’.”

Sousuke’s caught off guard by the drastic change in Kisumi’s demeanour as he speaks, but he doesn’t interrupt. It’s almost strange to see Kisumi like this, because it certainly doesn’t happen often where Kisumi goes dead serious, almost looking sad, as he’s usually just an abundance of smiles, laughter, and terrible jokes.

“I… walked by Haru’s house earlier. There was a note on his door welcoming him back from Tokyo over the holidays, from the Tachibana family. So I went over there to ask them when his flight lands, and it’s at three.”

Sousuke’s heart stops, and his eyes fall to stare emptily at his knees. Time stops moving completely around him as his mind races at several hundred miles per hour, trying to process the information.

 _I can go see Haruka_.

It’s been three years since he saw Haruka last, three years which felt like more than double that time. Three years which he’s spent feeling sorry for himself, and three years which other people spent trying to piece him back together. Most notably Kisumi, who’s now the one who essentially told him he has another chance to see Haruka again. It stings a little in his chest, because he knows only an alternate reality would make this possible.

He stands up, his mind only set on one thing, and he clenches a fist. “I know what I have to do. You… take care of Tachibana and Rin. I know you’ll be able to do a better job than me.”

“Sousuke, wait.” He almost considers _not_ waiting, but his body apparently doesn’t want to move until Kisumi tells him it’s okay. “Haru’s dead, no matter what or where he might be in _this_ universe. He’s not gonna come back even if he’s somehow alive in this universe.”

“I still have to go see him,” Sousuke responds, his voice dull and almost robotic. He begins walking, but Kisumi stands up, and grabs his wrist to keep him in place.

“What if… what if you see him, and you don’t wanna go back? Besides… he won’t even _know_ you. If no one else in this universe knows who we are, why should Haru know you?”

“Kisumi, let me go.”

Kisumi looks conflicted, understandably, and like he doesn’t want Sousuke to make his way to the airport to see Haruka again. And Sousuke can’t really blame him; he’s well aware of Kisumi’s attempts to get close to him all this time, and he feels bad, because all this time, his focus has been elsewhere, and sometimes even _nowhere_. But after a few seconds of what must be serious consideration, Kisumi scoots out, and lets Sousuke go.

“Okay,” he whispers. “I get it. You have to go.”

Sousuke averts his gaze, clears his throat. “I’m sorry.”

And then he leaves the bar, heads for the streets and grabs the first taxi he sees.

 

* * *

 

There are people walking by him, talking, laughing, reuniting, hugging. He sees them talk, but he doesn’t hear them. He sees people haul their luggage across the airport towards the exit, and heads in the direction they come from, towards the arrival hall, but the sound of wheels on the floor is inaudible, as if muted.

Sousuke feels as if he’s just standing outside a window, watching things happening without people noticing he’s there. He’s got really bad tunnel vision, and he ends up bumping into a few people on his way to the arrival hall.

None of it matters. His eyes are directed forward, straight ahead of him, and he’s determined to get to what he’s wanted to for so long. It’s been a long, _excruciatingly_ long, three years of time standing still, and he finally hears the clock ticking in his head again.

According to the boards, there’s a flight from Tokyo that’s just landed. It’s odd that Haruka would come from Tokyo of all places, seeing as he’d always been hell-bent on staying in Iwatobi. Sousuke had asked on several occasions why, but Haruka never had a response other than that it’s ‘home’. And as long as that’s how Haruka felt about it, Sousuke had no reason to question it, seeing as he didn’t really see the need for either of them to leave town.

Finally, there’s a crowd of people walking out, about five minutes after the plane from Tokyo landed. It all happens so quickly, as if someone suddenly sped up time instead of slowing it down, and all he sees is a blur of people.

And then he sees the jacket, wound and tied around a waist. A white jacket with light and dark blue stripes that Sousuke can’t believe Haruka still has, because he knows Haruka isn’t a sentimental person. His pulse spikes, and the hammering in his ears is deafening as his feet automatically take him forward. He doesn’t see anything but the jacket around the waist, the jeans and sneakers, and luggage being dragged behind—

“Haruka,” he says, grabbing a hold of his wrist.

 _His_ wrist.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you must be mistaken. Wait, you knew Haru?”

Sousuke looks up, and the person he sees instead of Haruka is Tachibana. He’s absolutely positive Kisumi had said _Haru_. Why is Tachibana here, and where is Haruka?

“You… Tachibana?”

Tachibana tilts his head to his side with a lopsided, puzzled smile on his face. “Do I know you?”

“I… thought Haruka was coming back. From Tokyo.”

“No, that’s me,” Tachibana says, readjusting the backpack on his shoulder. “Came back home from university over the holidays.”

Sousuke’s eyebrows lower as he realises what Tachibana said just seconds ago, when he was still trying to gather the fact that he’d essentially come to welcome _Tachibana_ back home, and not Haruka.

“Wait… what do you mean ‘ _knew_ ’ Haruka?”

Tachibana’s smile fades, and he looks down at ground in front of him instead of at Sousuke. He sighs through his nose. “Haru… died three years ago from an overdose. Took pills for depression.”

 _Three years_. Sousuke knows that even though they’re in a parallel universe—which he _still_ can’t believe despite everything that’s happened that would prove it—they haven’t exactly gone back of forward in time. They’re in the same time period, but a different reality. Even so, it occurs to him that it doesn’t matter _what_ universe he’s in—Haruka dies regardless, be it from an overdose or a terminal illness.

“Oh,” he says dumbly.

“I’m assuming you went by the house.”

 _So his scary perceptiveness doesn’t change no matter what universe we’re in_. “Yeah.”

Tachibana nods slowly. “I figured. Well, his parents asked me if I would live there after he died. I was against the idea first seeing as it’s—“

“—where he died.”

Tachibana gives him an odd look, but doesn’t comment on his direct and probably very inappropriate addition. “But I… think it’s actually helped. With my grieving process, and everything. I guess I should be scared seeing as people always say spirits tend to linger where people died, but… even so, it feels nice to know he might still be around.”

Sousuke recalls Rin telling him about how Tachibana’s terrified of ghosts, and while it shouldn’t make sense that he chose to live in the house his best friend died, it strangely _does_.

“Well, this wasn’t really how I wanted to start my Christmas break,” Tachibana laughs stiffly. “So… who were you again?”

Sousuke shakes his head, comes back from his thoughts. “No one,” he says, and while Tachibana still looks confused, he bows his head slightly and says goodbye before walking past Sousuke out of the arrival hall. Time starts moving normally for him again, and now he hears the noise of people walking and talking around him. It’s loud, it’s _too_ loud, and all he wants is to get the fuck away from this airport.

“I’m sorry,” he hears behind him, and Sousuke doesn’t even have to turn around to know who it is. He sighs, his shoulders slumping, and Kisumi gently takes his hand, leading him away from the arrival hall and subsequently out of the airport.

 

* * *

 

He doesn’t really register where the taxi is taking them as he just stares emptily out the window during the ride. Since they’d gotten into the car, Kisumi hasn’t let go of his hand, and Sousuke doesn’t pull away. At some point, the taxi stops, and Kisumi gets out first, before helping Sousuke out and once again taking his hand, leading him into a building. It isn’t until they’re sitting down that Sousuke registers that they’re in the same bar they’d been in earlier.

Kisumi knows him so well.

The two order beers, and then sit and drink in silence for a while. It feels like it’s just them there, but that might just be because Sousuke isn’t paying attention to what’s going on around him. What’s the point when it doesn’t matter, when he doesn’t even belong here in the first place?

“Sousuke,” Kisumi says after a while. “You can’t beat yourself up over this. It… I know it sounds really shitty of me, but… it was meant to happen. You didn’t cause this.”

Sousuke looks to his side, but he doesn’t turn his head. “Okay.”

“And I mean… you gave him three more years. Three whole years. That’s gotta count for something, right? He got to fall in love, he got to _live longer_.”

“He’s still gone, Kisumi.”

Kisumi sighs, taking a sip of his beer. “I know. And there isn’t anything we can do about it. So… let’s just be happy with the time we got with him, even if it was short.”

 _Too_ short. But Sousuke guesses Kisumi’s probably right. He’s spent a long time feeling sorry for himself and even blaming himself for what happened, and coming here to realise he technically extended Haruka’s life by three years… makes him feel a little better. Like he made a difference. And maybe he should just be happy with that, now that there isn’t anything else to do about it.

“I think… there’s something I need to do,” he says slowly, still mid-realisation. He’s only just gotten halfway down his beer glass, but that’s the least of his concerns right now. Taking out a five-hundred-yen bill from his wallet, Sousuke puts it down next to his glass as he stands up.

“Where are you going?”

“Take care of Tachibana and Rin. I know you’ll do a better job of getting those two together than I would.”

“Sousuke, wait!”

He hears Kisumi calling for him as he leaves, but doesn’t turn around. This time, in lieu of calling over a taxi, he decides to walk. The fresh air could do him some good after this insane day he’s had to live through while in reality being in a coma. This isn’t really something he’ll be able to tell anyone else, and when all of this is all over and done with, he and Kisumi will be the only ones who will know about it.

When all of it’s all over and done with, he won’t be in a universe where he knows Haruka took his own life. Maybe it really _is_ for the best that he returns, that he leaves it all behind him. Staying would’ve only ever been an option if he hadn’t run into Tachibana at the airport, and it really _had_ been Haruka like Kisumi had assumed from the note on Tachibana’s door. If Haruka had been alive, he wouldn’t have a reason to wake up from his comatose state, and he could’ve just stayed here instead.

But now he knows he’s got to return. Face reality, and live with it. To move on, which is a foreign concept to him as he hasn’t even _thought_ about doing so since Haruka died a little over three years ago. People have told him to do so, but it’s just bounced off him, never stuck, until now. And as much as he’s been denying it up until now, Kisumi’s in his life in a different way than he was before, and Sousuke doesn’t mind his presence. He likes it, enjoys it, and feels maybe he should give Kisumi a chance.

Give _life_ a second chance.

Sousuke ends up on the beach. The same beach he and Haruka used to take walks every now and then when Haruka’s depression got the best of him, before the illness prevented him from doing so. The beach of Iwatobi holds many memories for him, so it only seems fitting for him to end up here, to sit down by the lifeguard tower the two had retreated to so many times during their time together.

Finally, after having had it for a few days without opening it, Sousuke takes out the letter from Haruka he’d stuffed into the front pocket of his jeans. He’d received it apparently almost three entire years after it was sent, which means Haruka had sent it to him not too long before it happened. Why it took so long for him to arrive is beyond him, but he figures it’s some sort of cruel punishment.

Haruka tells Sousuke that writing a letter is the only option he has since he isn’t good with verbal conversations. He has so much yet to learn, but some things are those he just _won’t_. He says time is a strange concept, one that he’s never quite understood, and always underestimated. But one thing is different, because he says he didn’t expect to get as much time with Sousuke as he eventually got.

He’s glad for the time he got, he assures. With Sousuke, with Makoto, Kisumi, Rin, the rest of his friends. He says he doesn’t resent his parents, because it was probably for the best. For all of them, Haruka emphasises. He isn’t one to use clichés, but says that when he does, it’s because they mean something, and they’re actually _good_ ones. His years with Sousuke were the best he ever lived, and he feels like he couldn’t have lived a better life.

But this is the end of the road for him, and although the road is shorter than he’d originally expected, Haruka has come to terms with it. Came to terms with it. Tells Sousuke that he should, too.

 _Don’t dwell on the past. You have a bad habit of doing that_.

Sousuke finds himself smiling at that. He folds up the letter at Haruka’s last words, after having read them twice, and he leaves the letter behind as he leaves the lifeguard tower, the beach, behind. A strong wind blows, tousles his hair, and Sousuke takes a deep breath as he walks away from a spot that once meant a lot to him.

 

_He watches Haruka’s eyes fall, stare at the ground instead of at him. He clenches his fists by his sides._

_“So stop wasting time,” he says, perhaps a little louder than intended. “Move forward!”_

_Haruka’s eyes widen, and then he looks back up at Sousuke, who doesn’t say anything else beyond that, and then leaves a speechless Haruka behind_.

 

 _Move forward_ , is what Sousuke tells himself as he doesn’t turn around to try and see the letter he’d left by the lifeguard tower. He walks away, whispers a farewell that the wind carries out to sea, and doesn’t look back.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up in an unfamiliar place. Unpleasantly bright fluorescent lights greet him, and he squints at them. The first thing Sousuke does after realising where he is, is to look to his side where he sees his fingers linked with Kisumi’s. He looks at Kisumi for a while, to reassure himself that they’re really here at the same time, and that they’re _back_ , and then as if Kisumi sensed it, he slowly awakens.

Kisumi’s half-lidded eyes meet his, and he squeezes Sousuke’s hand ever so slightly. “Thanks for leaving me behind.”

“No problem,” Sousuke replies. He brings Kisumi’s hand to his lips, and kisses the back of it as Kisumi offers him a tired smile. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too, Sousuke.”

 _Move forward_.

The letter he’d received from Haruka rests on the side table to his left, but Sousuke hasn’t touched it since he’d left it at the life guard tower, and he figures that’s where it should be, that’s where it belongs.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the seventh episode of The OC's fourth season, "The Chrismukk-huh?". So this isn't exactly the solid death-fic I've always wanted to write, but this is kind of a start, I guess.
> 
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> [tumblr](http://radiodread.tumblr.com)


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